It didn't hit me hard until yesterday.
I hadn't thought about Thomas since 2015 when I received the email that he had died. 
I can't say me and Thomas were the best of friends. We had a few classes together at Auburn, and we worked on a few group projects together.
I would see T at work every so often as well.

Watching '13 Reasons Why' makes me question, could I have done something to save him? Were there signs that I missed? Could I have been a better classmate? A better friend?
When someone passes, people often say nothing but nice things about that person, but I can honestly say that Thomas was one of the nicest and happiest people that I knew...or at least I thought he was happy.

It makes me sad that this person was in so much pain, that he decided to take his life at the age of 22. Yesterday oddly enough was the two year mark since his funeral and also the first time I've thought about him since he died. I thought about changing his name for the sake of this post, but Thomas deserves to be remembered and talked about.

His death really didn't hit me until I walked past a plaque in the Student Center. Auburn made a certificate in memoriam to him, to basically take place of the degree that he would have earned.
That plaque ate me up for awhile, and I avoided that part of the Student Center. 
We should have graduated college together. We should be messaging each other about how terrible and harsh of a grader Ms. Jessica was and how impossible our Public Speaking final was. We should, we should, we should be:

I left that intentionally blank because there is no time for should anymore.

I'm hoping that with this post comes a release of the confusion of emotions that I've been feeling.
I also encourage anyone reading this to reach out to a friend that you haven't spoken to in awhile, you never know what a person is going through.